Posted: Thu Dec 29 12:30Holly Hill’s To Poly or Not to Poly
Not everyone works the same.
Holly - indeed, sometimes I wish I was at the peak of the bell curve, though - it would make for an easier life!
Can you address those of us who naturally feel compersion and are not inclined to jealousy? Are we abnormal? Is our biology messed up?
Holly - you are lucky! It should be you that is giving us tips!
Please, before making such dogmatic statements. Educate yourself, pick up a copy of "Sex at Dawn" and then review your statement here.
Holly - interesting comment in that most people say my views are practically identical to those expressed in Sex at Dawn.
Awesome! I know people who went to that fetish fair, cool (I'm also a Bostonian of sorts). And I think you're right about the altsex folks, at least from what I've started to see. I've also been getting interested in BDSM, but it's something I haven't played around with since I was in my very early 20s (and then only lightly).Thanks for the comment, as usual you rock!
Holly - I suspect sex outside the norm is currently restricted to the educated, the intelligent, the wealthy, the adventurous and/or the opportunistic - I hope that one day it will be available to all - bring on the billboards!
Interesting. I have a social media friend who introduced me to the term 'polyamory' and I've decided this is the philosophy adopted by a male friend of mind (another 'John'). I have taken on a small dose of it, I guess, but John has been that way since he first had sex with another person at the age of about 13. At one stage about 10 years ago, he had 5 female lovers plus me. Most others fell by the wayside, he had a few new ones and now I believe he is down to 2 or 3. He never tells- but believes he keeps them all in different life "compartments". He genuinely seems to be able to show love to all of us, being exceedingly generous and gentle (as well as to his wife). It took me years to relax in this arrangement, but now I am happy enough for him to share his love around. We believe neither of our partners knows- but maybe they suspect. No one has said anything. So I guess we have all negotiated varying levels of infidelity and we will go on this way until we die. I think it's quite good when guys have "eyes for me" when they do, but it's allowable for them to have eyes for others when I'm not there!
PS. Port Macquarie High School was a pretty quiet place when I was there- how about you?
Holly - lol, you might have to message me privately and we can compare notes about our school days!
I suspect there are a lot of people in undeclared love - it often worries me how threatening we find it... I might have to dwell on this!
I am fat and polyamorous. I can't rellay compare fat monogamy to fat poly, because I've been both fat and polyamorous my entire adult life. For me, my last attempt at monogamy was while skinny and in high school, so that's not much of a comparison! I belong to some subcultures I'm a burner, dabble with BDSM, and a lot of my friends are Pagan since almost everyone I know is non-mainstream in some way, I think there's a higher level of acceptance and enjoyment for different body types, too. It just hasn't mattered much for me, but I don't know how much that depends on the particular social circle I'm in. Almost everyone I know is poly, many of us identify as sluts, and several of us are fat our relationships and sex lives seem to carry on pretty successfully.
Holly - thanks for your input, Bret
Why yes indeed.I've been actelivy poly for about fifteen years now. I'm not particularly fat myself, but the people I tend to be in relationships with are. I've been uncloseted about both of those for about that long.Overall, it probably makes things a bit harder; the set of people who are or are comfortable with being poly can be small, the set of people who are comfortable with fat is sadly small, and so the overlap between the two is smaller still.But it works out. I have been very lucky to have some spectacular people in my life.The two issues seem to interact different in each relationship. Some people find one much more challenging to accept than the other. But, of course, part of what makes poly the joy that it is is that each relationship is unique, and needs to be explored differently.
Holly - fine words, indeed!!!