10 Aspects of UNCONDITIONED Love

Posted: Wed Aug 29 14:30

Definition: Unconditioned love – those aspects of love that are regardless of money, social standing, religious background, and any other learned behaviours.

1. SMELL – Sometimes you just can’t get enough of a person’s smell! In a study conducted by Wedekind (1995), research showed men and women prefer the body odour of someone who has certain genes that are different from their own. Apparently this creates a stronger immune system in potential offspring.

2. ‘CHEMISTRY’ – we have all met the person who is perfect in every way but who fails to produce that ‘spark’. The worse thing is, if you haven’t got ‘chemistry’, you can’t create it. Fischer (1999) discovered those in love have similar brain activity in the dopamine system as those that are high on cocaine!

3. HORMONES - ask any woman how much she loves you when she is ovulating and ask again when she has PMT. There are hundreds of studies on Oxytocin, the ‘cuddle hormone’ leading to attraction, plus Mazaritti (1999, 2004) found people in love have lower levels of serotonin (similar to people with obsessive & compulsive disorders), men who are in love produce more estrogen (making them more feminine) and women who are in love produce more testosterone (making them more masculine).

4. SEXUALITY - although I know gay people who have fallen in love with straight people and vice versa, we are generally attracted to people who have the same sexuality as we do. Although some lesbians claim they have become so out of choice, I am yet to meet a gay man who does not believe he was born that way!

5. MUTUAL PATHOLOGY – Whilst incompatible pathology is certainly no reason NOT to fall in love, many with compatible pathology find mutual attraction easier. For example, consider the prevalence of bare backing amongst mutually HIV Positive gay men.

6. MUTUAL INHERITED FETISHES - although science believes the association between an object and sexual arousal may be from adolescent curiosity or a random association between the object and feelings of sexual pleasure, some fetishists believe they are inherited, not learned. They cite infants and previous generations as showing signs of the fetish, in circumstances where they are either too young to recognise or are/were oblivious to its existence in other family members.

7. PHYSICAL APPEARANCE – attraction towards people with certain traits happens to all of us. Whilst it could certainly be argued we are socialized into believing big tits and blonde hair are desirable, many evolutionists believe these are merely attributes of people who are more inclined to be healthy and produce good offspring. Women with attractive faces actually have longer life spans, with obvious benefits for mate selections and offspring.

8. SIMILIARITY – Morris (2007) demonstrated we usually want to perceive our friends and partners as similar to us. Newcomb (1961) said roommates that were initially similar were more likely to like each other after a year. Caspi & Herbener (1990) conducted a longitudinal study of 135 married couples and found that similarity was related to marital satisfaction.

9. AGE - let's face it, a 16 year old who is scarcely able to see beyond his next wank is probably more likely to fall in love than a 90 year old woman who has outlived all her friends. Buss (1979) also found in all cultures in the world, men generally desire a younger woman (more fertile, can bear more children) and women desire an older man (have more resources to protect the family).

10. INSTINCT - although it might be the result of any (or all!) of the above, sometimes we are attracted (or unattracted!) purely by 'gut feel' - consider butterflies in the stomach, feeling weak at the knees or a strong urge to run away…

Whatever the reason… love the love! Consider subscribing to my RSS feed at http://www.hollyhill.net.au/rss.xml


Posted by: teacher

I like the idea of being you. People love to hear about you, your story, what’s going on for you, especially the bad. I guess misery loves company.

Holly - Thank you! I suspect its more because people like to live vocariously...

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