3 Rules to Trust on Trust
Posted: Tue Feb 21 21:52
1. TRUST ISN'T TRANSFERRABLE
A girlfriend recently declined an invitation to a girl's night out, saying her boyfriend 'wouldn't allow it'. After being mercilessly teased, she revealed why. ‘It's not you I distrust, it's your friends!', the BF had said to her. Right? Wrong! The BF's relationship was with our friend, not us. Holding us responsible for her actions was a sad reflection of his stunted belief in the woman he supposedly loved.
2. TRUST IS EARNT; NOT GIVEN
Trust occurs by exposing your vulnerabilities to people at the same time as believing they will not take advantage of your openness. Logically, it is about the assessment of probabilities. Probabilities need data and data needs collecting. Tell them they will need to earn your trust and you will give them every reason to start treating it with respect.
3. JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVEN'T EARNT YOUR TRUST YET DOESNT MEAN THEY ARE UNTRUSTWORTHY
Just because the jury is still out, doesn;t mean you should deny them their freedom - it is often the only way to accumulate dollars in the 'trust bank'. It is only the people who have ABUSED your trust that need to be treated with caution.
There’s an old saying: it takes time to build, seconds to lose and a lifetime to regain. I often love the people I trust; how awful it would be not to trust the people I love...