3 Types of Sex
Posted: Tue Jul 10 20:53
1. SEX FOR SEX
This is the sex offered by sex workers, quickies and vibrators. It is the relief you get scratching an itch. It is the valve on the pressure cooker finally getting to blow.
Yet sex for sex has probably ruined more marriages, destroyed more trust and wrecked more perfectly good relationships than all the other sex put together.
Why? Because sex for sex is the impulse counter at the supermarket. It doesn't require much consideration - only a strong urge and a brain that is unusually thoughtless. If your partner cheats on you and it’s only sex for sex's sake, the dishonesty is wrong, but the sex means no more than a second slice of cheese cake.
2. SEX FOR SPORT
This is the sex enjoyed by artisans, athletes and dirty little sluts. It is the culmination of considerable self-work and often requires the shrugging off of conditioning, religious values and recalcitrance.
Sometimes referred to as 'playing', enthusiasts often have playrooms, toy cupboards and dentists’ chairs. The etiquette of these lucky enlightened is a polite request, often negotiated by the female of the species (hetros) or tops. Refusals are equally polite and never taken personally.
Typified by threeways, swinging, BDSM, fetish play and saunas, sex for sport tends to improve good relationships and end bad ones.
3. SEX FOR LOVE
The cliché states, ‘men love to have sex and women have sex for love’ and this is probably the lovin’ referred to.
It is the long, thoughtful, put-a-pillow-behind-their-head variety that incorporates gazing deep into eyes, gentle kisses, and soft caresses.
It is the sex that fosters the release of oxytocin (the cuddle hormone), periods of contented exclusivity and conversations about safe bare backing.
BEWARE THE WRONG SEX at the wrong time! If you want to keep it casual, and you keep on delivering sex for love, you’ll end up with a stalking bunny boiler.
Likewise, if you always insist on candles and massages, and they're lacking time and/or energy, they'll be tempted to go elsewhere for some quick sex for sex.
The same applies to sex for sport - if someone asks if you'd like to play, consider it a compliment and not a perversion of someone who wants the naming rights to your third child.
Whatever you do, if you’re in a long term relationship and you want to stay that way, mix it up! Consider the frantic quickie against the wall, but remember some of the best things in life are done slowly. If other players aren't your gig, buy some sex toys and make your own games. As Kinsey says, it only seems kinky the first time and the far greater abnormality would be doing the missionary every Friday night for 20 years (or not at all).
You can clasify sex as much as you like but the fundamental issue is the unwritten rules and expectations surrounding sex. Australia is at heart a conservative country and sex is rarely undertaken for sex's sake. There is always an obligation that must be met. You are definitely right to say be careful of the wrong sex at the wrong time can cause havoc yet what is so wrong with people stating what their expectations are? Many people don't as they fear being judged or honesty may uncover that two people have vastly different expectations and would prefer a shaky status quo rather than making a fully informed decision and standing by that.
Holly - some excellent points, although I suspect teenage boys alone would account for HEAPS of sex for sex's sake...
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Really like relates to the established matter for a one's life and the growth of whatever we tend to adoration.
Holly - thanks!
Maillot de Dortmund
Anywhere int he planet maybe you are body, but yet to a single woman maybe you are everybody.
Holly - maybe ;)
Romantic sex is definitely fragile at times, nonetheless it cultivates greater as we age and become more prepared to engage in the other types of sex. So many don;t know they even exist.
Holly - if they did, a lot of relationships would be saved!