Posted: Sun May 13 11:17
1. LOVE CAN'T BE DEFINED
Love is not real, not the sort the world would have us believe, at any rate. It can be felt. It can be demonstrated. It can also be sung, unrequited, romantic, hopeless, spiritual, free, open, unconditional, crazy, magic, everlasting, true, irrational and even universal, but love has never been defined.
2. LOVE ISN'T CONSTANT
It requires active participation before knowing fully what it is and even then it can drastically change within and between people. It is as fluid as quicksilver and yet can deliver a blow far mightier than pen or sword.
3. LOVE HASN'T RECOGNISED BIOLOGY
Love has never recognized those aspects of ourselves that are regardless of culture and society. It has never been associated with our hardwired selves such as our hormones, inherited fetishes, pathology, gender or sexuality. Yet ask any woman how much she loves her partner when she is pre-menstrual, then ask her again when she is ovulating. So too a man with erectile dysfunction might love less when he is impotent and more when he is satiated. And can we honestly say we feel the same love when we are depressed as we do when we're happy?
4. LOVE IS A BUNCH OF MYTHS
These things are just as important – if not more so – than outdated societal constructs. These include the myth that true love means not being attracted to other people, or that it justifies lifetime sexual exclusivity or long periods of abstinence.
5. A LOVE WITHOUT PHYSIOLOGY CANNOT EXIST
Ergo, the only real love, the only truly measurable love, is that state of being which ebbs and flows according to our ever-changing biology. It is chemical attraction plus capacity. It is elusive and yet as surely carried within our bodies as is our blood and thoughts and sense of being.
6. THE ONLY REAL LOVE IS UNCONDITIONED
Love is US. It is not anything outside of ourselves yet it is transferable to families, friends or partners. The best love isn't tainted by society or expectations - the best love - the purest love - the only REAL love - is UNCONDITIONED LOVE.
Fantastic BLOG! Esp this one about LOVE! I think youre just adorable how you share your realistic views about everything to do with sex love & r'ships! You rock Holly!! Been following you on FB for a while now. Keep up your tremendous job! :)xx
Holly - Wow - thanks so much! That is such fine praise. It has taken a while, but I think I am actually getting to the stage where we can start putting a few dents in the divorce stats.. woo hoo! Take care of you. xxx
A rather unsatisfactory and empty notion of love. Maybe someone of us can make love work. I've seen old Japanese couples who are in love, but in a way that we couldn't even experience.
Holly - it is probably it's undefinable qualities that makes it so special!
Holly - ...was a fabulous read (guaranteed!)