How to Help Teens Have Empowered Sex

Posted: Sat Jul 09 11:31

I had an interesting discussion with a supposedly ‘liberated’ mother the other day who gave her children ownership of their genitals from an early age. I hung on her every word when she told me that she provided books on reproductive biology, advice about respect and responsibility, and even offered to buy them condoms. I was ready to hero-worship her when she said that sex didn’t require marriage or God but then she lost me. When they reached the age of (sexual) consent my liberated mother told her children, “Not in my house.”

1. GOOD VALUES ACCOMPANY GOOD SEX
She got most of it right. She helped them become objective about sex and encouraged them to please themselves before they started pleasing others.  She taught them that sex needed to be accompanied by values such as self-worth and understanding.

2. PRACTISE IS EMPOWERING
You can’t expect teenagers provided with new abilities, new bodily functions and a brand new set of values not to want to practise.

Apart from the where, there is no logical reason for consenting teenagers not to have sex. Just like speech development, walking and even a new set of wings, we are expected to practise new abilities. It is a time when young men and women should learn to cherish each other instead of hankering for them.

3. THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME
75% of American college kids are getting STDs. I wonder how many of them caught infections in the back room of their parent’s home? It is all very well to be supposedly ‘liberated’ but if you fuel the fire without providing a barbecue, someone is going to get burnt.

4. WINNING YOUR TEEN'S RESPECT
The only reason that the teenage years are so difficult is because we teach them that they will be. If we open our minds (and our back rooms) and celebrate their new abilities, perhaps they might even learn to respect us in the morning.



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