Posted: Thu Nov 07 22:06
There is no ‘men’ in feminism. Cinemas in Sweden have introduced a feminist rating for films that includes whether the females discuss subjects other than blokes; but feminism should only ever be about women on women.
The new feminism is simple. We need to love everything about ourselves. So many of us don’t. In many instances, men like us more than we like ourselves.
Our enemies include the female boss who has climbed the corporate ladder. The obliging secretary who looks after our husband so well. The pretty cleaner who has been with the family for ten years. The woman at the pub in the nasty clothes who needs to get her roots done. Our inner slut who sat waiting for the phone to ring after she let a boy go too far. Our bad hair days. The real enemy is everywhere. She is us. Each and every woman is her own misogynist.
Neanderthal women were denied the ‘fight or flight’ option urged by their biology because they had small children around them, so we developed an array of passive aggressive defense mechanisms. It was much safer to ostracize and stigmatize other women than to physically attack them. Nothing has changed – gossip, exclusion, and dirty looks by other females are the three most common complaints reported by teenage girls today.
In the same way natural selection programs us to be good mothers, so too do we want to be promiscuous lovers. There is an innate part of us that wants to be good in bed with the most genetically superior fella we can find. The problems start when our nature and nurture clash and our sex drives are expected to abide by puritanical propositions. So we hover at a culturally contrived point somewhere between frigidity and promiscuity and suppress any natural deviations. In the same way gay bashers are often repressed homosexuals, every time we denigrate another woman for being a slut, we are merely projecting our own.
Women have had so many things the wrong way around – instead of gaining power from lust, women lust for power. We have become seduced by modern notions of career and success generated by the reversing of sexism. Women may have won the right to work untraditional roles, but it doesn’t mean they win us the same power as those allotted by biology.
Whether we are biologically incapable, culturally denied or distracted by other priorities, women must reclaim the things that make us powerful, even if that requires outsourcing. To continue to believe that sex must always be delivered in-situ by a dedicated person, we are being as discriminatory as those who believe that our offspring must always be produced in-house. (Imagine the power wielded by a working mother who lets her horny hubby visit a brothel once a month compared to the exhausted Mum who starts to wonder why he’s often so late home from the pub). In the same way, equal opportunity will cause the outsourcing of our wombs and the selling of our eggs to be as inevitable as the negotiating of our fidelity.
That means women need to depersonalize our disabilities and objectify our abilities. When we lose part of ourselves, we can’t help looking for it. If women reclaimed our full potential we will stop devaluing ourselves and each other. We will finally be able to reach gender parity and probably more so, if we revalue our gifts.
If we embrace ALL of ourselves (instead of just the culturally-approved bits) and stop dissing each other, we will be proud that women are the world’s aphrodisiac. We’ll rejoice in those things called tits that can hypnotize half the world if only we let them jiggle freely while we walk. It wouldn’t matter if we were considered objects or subjects – both are highly coveted and hugely empowering. We’d be worshipped for our ability to create life and how we can excel at other things if we chose not to or the decision is taken from us. We already know women can perform most of the things a man can do, but we’d also understand two of us working together can arrange anything and anyone. If we don’t like the sexuality we’re allotted, some of us can change it and even just the clothes we wear can rouse whole countries into action. If we learn to trust our women’s intuition and stop suppressing, ignoring or denying them, our feminine wiles will move worlds and create stars. Most of all, if we all realize women can be exclusive or multifarious and be committed and happy in either role, we can always be on top if we really want to be.
Women really only face one problem. Ourselves. All we have to do is become less vulnerable to our advantages.