Posted: Wed Sep 26 14:53
Just because someone gets caught with their pants down, doesn’t necessarily mean they cheated.
When we salivate over celebrity philandering, their partners are often portrayed in a sympathetic but slightly pitying light, with implications they were either duped or are completely deluded for standing by their cheating spouse.
Are so many of these partners REALLY that stupid or do they just ‘look the other way’ until the tabloids make it easy to win lots of public sympathy and a couple of million in the divorce courts?
Let’s face it, the chances of Kristen Stewart, Ryan Phillippe, Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Meg Ryan, Jude Law, Charlie Sheen, Claire Danes, Zayn Malik, Tori Spelling, Tiger Woods, David Letterman, Brangelina, Jesse James, JFK, Ashton Kutcher and even Bill Clinton and Princess Di ALL having dumb fuck partners are about… what?...nil?
Much more believable than this apparent plague of spousal moronicism is a group of very much in-the-know partners who either look the other way in return for $100k shopping expeditions or who actively negotiate their fidelity.
Take Posh Becks, for example. She is obviously an astute businesswoman and a dedicated mother. When is she going to say “enough!” to the sad pictures of her pasted all over New Idea and tell us that she really isn’t a cornflake short of a box? When is she going to put up her hand and say, ‘Yes, David is a womanizer, but I’ve got a $20m injection into my new clothing line’?
The truth is on it’s way, according to Victor Hugo and sooner or later there are going to be a lot less partners who are willing to appear like they are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. Only the Brangelinas of the world can decide whether cheating has occurred or not. It is characterized by deceit - not actions. By themselves, consensual acts of pleasure are never wrong, but lying about them is.
It might still be in the celebrity closet, but ‘negotiated fidelity’ is catching on - we will never achieve gender parity until we exchange monogamy and vulnerability for collaborated boundaries and administration. A couple who arbitrates who their partner can (and cannot) have sex with will always be stronger than those who believe in default exclusivity and fairytale endings.